• Só no acto do amor

“Só no acto do amor - pela límpida abstracção de estrela 

do que se sente - capta-se a incógnita do instante 

que é duramente cristalina e vibrante no ar e a vida é esse 

instante incontável, maior que o acontecimento em si.”

 - Clarice Lispector

It was almost midnight. It was dark. It was cold, too. Cold as I rarely had felt so cold in my life.

We were walking back home. Through this park between the expresso linja-autoasema and the great lake. By the side of this small lakes, where we see sometimes pairs of swans, called the Pikku Vesijärvi.

My backpack was heavy. Or was it yours that I was carrying, I don’t remember. My steps were quick and mechanical. I was very selfishly wishing to get back to your home warmth. Not caring about your own wishes, if you would like to enjoy the cold of the night little bit more. Or watch the moonlight. Or search for your dear swan, once again.

In my mind were wandering some negative thoughts. That I was not sharing with you. Thoughts like that I was living then perhaps the last days in my life by your side.

I went one day to meet you, in this faraway land where you live. In order to discover how fine it would be to live by your side. I never could have imagine, not even in my wildest dreams, it would turn out to be this great!...

Down to earth... My nose was always runny. And in some moment, all of a sudden, you stopped me. And you wanted badly to kiss me. And then we hugged each other.

I thought to myself while our lips were glued, “Well, if is this what you want now, I will stand the cold for as long as it takes. You started this kiss, you will determine when we will end it.”.

You showed me how you loved me when I was least deserving it. And when I was least expecting it.

See oli üks puhas, helde ja tõsi tegude armastust keegi minu elus kunagi pani mind elama!...

Ma arvan, et ma olen payed sulle tagasi, et žest, vaid mõne sammu eemale, et kohapeal... Ma ärkasin üksi täna hommikul selle 1. jaanuar pea meeles, et ülev het.

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Note: It was not intentional… But I started this post and ended it writing in our mother languages. And in the middle, there’s a story written in english, this unique language we can use to communicate between ourselves, my sweet dear angel.